Chrysalis
Sandra J. Payne is an award-winning writer/filmmaker and serves on the advisory council of the nonprofit charity news site (it) magazine. Originally from Alaska, she started her Hollywood career as a staff writer for "Barney & Friends." Her favorite organic food is raspberries.
From the beginning
I was fed a steady diet
Of societal mores and
Expectations
They tasted fine
At the time
I grew plump on them
Until I was ready
to spout them myself
I even took the initiative to
Wrap myself in a protective shell
Methodically constructed with
Strand upon strand of their logic
Until I could not move
And nearly suffocated
Under the dense layers
Of reason, politeness, practicality,
And, above all,
being nice
The claustrophobia
And oppressiveness
Surprised me
Because this
Is what I had striven for
It was, I had been told,
The right thing to do
And yet my body
And my soul
Wanted freedom
More than anything
I had ever wanted before
But I did not know if I could survive
the effort of a rebirth
The first time being so hard
I struggled anyway
Not realizing until that moment
Just how thick and soft and enticing
The layers I had fashioned really were
I wanted to rest
To stay cushioned in a place that felt
So safe
Yet it was dark
And I longed for the light
So I fought again
To free myself
From the tangle
Of my early sustenance
And when the first crack of light
Appeared like a beam of truth
To lead the way
I tore at my bonds
With a single-minded intensity
Until, at last, the path was clear
And I was able to stand
For the first time on my own
And breathe
For the first time
The clear air of freedom
It was then
I looked down and noticed
I had wings.